Whether you’ve been with your boyfriend for a while or you’ve just started seeing someone new, sending kinky texts is a great way to spice things up. You might be thinking, “I don’t really know what to say,” at first, and you would be right. Here are some fuck-nasty sexts that will make you wonder, “Is this actually sexy?” then feel weird about while typing, then delete.
The most important part of sex is making your partner feel good, so compliment his physique by saying it looks like a warm croissant. He’ll get all worked up knowing that you find his dude-body delicious enough to be a pastry… or will he? Maybe that’s too weird. Try sexier foods, like a strawberry or a bar of chocolate. Actually never mind. Just delete this one and try something else.
The mental image of you getting out of the bathtub will definitely turn your partner on. Or will it? Maybe he’ll imagine you slipping, or crawling out of the tub Exorcist style with your head spinning. Maybe getting out of a steamy shower would be sexier? You know what…this sext is dumb, just call your hook-up buddy and ask him to come over instead.
Straightforward and explicit! This sext lets your partner know that you think fucking is a test and that you need help passing it. Okay, on second thought, that’s kind of strange. Try typing it anyway and then delete it because you can’t stop laughing and if you’re laughing, your sext is too cheesy and not sexy enough. Send an eggplant emoji instead so he knows what you think his dick looks like.
This is the perfect invitation to let your partner express exactly what he’d like to do to your nipple. Well, you actually have two nipples so write, “both my nipples” instead. Nah, that’s too specific. Everyone knows you have two nipples. Or do they? You’re overthinking this and now it’s a bad sext. Wait until your guy comes over, then just whisper “nipple” into his ear. Now that feels more natural.
Let your boy toy know what you can do by announcing you give great hand jobs, but make it cheeky with a smiley and maybe make a grammatical error that makes you look like English might not be your first language. Is this smiley okay though? Maybe it should only have one nose. And now that you’re looking at it, the wink actually looks like a tear, and you’re NOT crying. Ugh. This is weird. Give up and try a different sext. Or just delete your boyfriend’s number and find a different boyfriend—maybe that will be easier.