While the vast majority of the population prefers to have inane, stilted social interactions, one man has astounded the internet and academia alike with his particular fondness for what he calls “good conversation”.
When asked what sets him apart from the millions who wait for hours in line just to have a cliché-riddled and repetitive interaction with another person, Chris Jenkins, 25, explained that his favorite topics as detailed in his Tinder bio include religion, socialism, fate, and, most frequently, how he just really likes to talk about real stuff and connect with people, you know?
What makes a good conversation according to Chris? The key elements he told us even though we didn’t ask are eye contact, equal participation from both parties, and getting to a level of intellectual or emotional depth. Surveys show that 99.99% of human conversationalists hate those things. Holy shit!! This guy is something special.
Yet Chris’s proclivity for conversation that is good can also be a burden: He admits to finding workplace small talk insufferable, setting him apart from the office drones who fucking live for it.
“A lot of the girls I meet just want to talk about whatever TV show just came on Netflix, or like, their nursing degrees,” Jenkins laments. “Whatever happened to talking about something real?”
“IDK, I just really like bad conversation,” explained some dumb bitch at the bar, presumably.
Psychologists and experts’ minds have been fucking blown by the revelation that a person might like talking to someone in a way that feels intimate and sincere. Scientists are currently working on determining if there is any kind of genetic basis for Chris’s heretofore unobserved need to connect with someone on a deeper level.
“We are fucking baffled that there is a person out there who likes to feel connected to people,” explains renowned social psychologist Janet Freeman. “Everything I’ve studied suggests that human beings like to feel isolated in their feelings and opinions, and most of them never talk at all.”
Unfortunately for Jenkins, his rare inclination for good conversation has not resulted in immediate praise from many of the women he talks to about it. The majority of feedback he receives asserts that he could spend less time talking about how he loves good conversation, and a little more time just fucking listening.