Hold Your Horses? These Horses Are Touch Starved Print Edition - Jan 15, 2026 By: Madeline Goetz Tweet You've reached the Print Edition. The headline is the whole joke. Subscribe to Coil for $5/month and get ad-free access to The Hard Times and more. click to learn more > SHARE: HorsesTouchPlease They Need It DUDE CORNER: Why I Reserve My Keen Sense of Nuance for Acts of Unthinkable Evil Woman Crammed for the Dentist by Staying Up All Night Flossing