We all fantasize about having sex so good it breaks the bed, but how many of us actually live it? Who can turn their man on so much that it results in thousands of dollars worth of cosmetic dental surgery?
Me. I can.
One night, when things were getting spicy between the sheets, I made my boyfriend Paolo harder than he’d ever been in his entire life.
How hard was he? Hard enough for me to chip a tooth. Hard enough that it was actually kind of sharp, like a piece of glass.
You dream of sex stories so raucous you can brag to your girlfriends over brunch, and maybe even show off a bruise or two. But this? This is going to set me back almost a thousand dollars. His dick was just that hard.
I don’t know how this could have happened; one minute I was in bed with him staying things like, “You’re turning me on like crazy!”, the next minute I was clutching my jaw and trying to make an emergency appointment with my dentist.
Does it feel flattering to turn a man on that much? Sure. Is my chipped tooth a badge of honor? Definitely. Would I do it again? Of course; but only once because I really can’t afford veneers again. But at least I can now tell the world that I’m so physically attractive to a man that it physically hurts me without saying it.
I love that I made Paolo so hard that he was surprised by his own body, and also that I’m going to have to spend about five hours at the dentist this Wednesday. I don’t care that I don’t have any sort of dental insurance and Paolo says he “wishes there were something he could do but he’s pretty broke right now.”
I don’t care; the sex is worth it.
