Sometimes, heroes are born. But today, in an office building in Toledo, a hero was made: Despite being warned that there was no toilet paper in the bathroom stall she was walking toward, marketing associate Lisa DeNalle decided to waltz on in and use the toilet anyway.
“I was blown away by her bravery,” said witness Kelly Wu. “How would she wipe? What if she was going number two? I had so many questions, but heroes like her don’t have time to answer the questions of peasants like me.”
Onlookers watched in disbelief as Lisa closed the door behind her, and looked at each other in shock as they heard her steady stream of pee.
“This wasn’t just, like, a tinkle,” said Juana DeMorales, another witness to Lisa’s courage. “This was a full-on bladder-emptying, the kind where it splashes up on your butt a tiny bit. You definitely need toilet paper for that.”
“I just wanna know what she wiped with,” Juana added.
Us too, girl!
“Of course I appreciated the heads up, but I’m the type of gal that throws caution to the wind,” she said. “I also only wash my hands after using the bathroom some of the time, so this is pretty much in line with my whole deal.”
When asked about what she ultimately ended up using to wipe, Lisa became a bit more coy.
“I’m not saying that everyone should do what I did; that’s dangerous and unsanitary. But let’s just say: when I hunt, I use every part of the animal, and in this case, the animal was the toilet paper roll,” she added.
Wow! Keep on blazing trails, Lisa!