It’s Saturday, and nothing’s going start the fun like going to a hip and trendy bar and drip-drying in a toilet paperless bathroom stall. Here are our favorite places for cheap drinks and a great atmosphere that will definitely run out of toilet paper before you even get there.
1. O’Malley’s (East Village, NYC)
A classic Irish bar – you can tell it’s Irish because there are a lot of apostrophes in the name. No frills. Exactly what you need on a Saturday night, especially with their 2-for-1 Jägerbomb special! The best part about drinking double the shots you normally would is that you’ll have to go to the bathroom within 20 minutes! Better go early, because this place is going to run out of toilet paper by the post-dinner rush. We give this one 5 out of 5 purse napkins.
2. Coast to Coast (Beverly Hills)
An airplane-themed bar? We’re on board. The best part about this trendy spot isn’t the awesome flight attendant uniform every bartender wears, nor the $14 cocktails served in mason jars, but the fact that this bar’s bathroom is going to stay about as clean as an airplane bathroom and will run out of toilet paper well before midnight, since people just fucking love this place. We give this one 4 out of 5 purse napkins.
3. The Wellesley (Washington, D.C.)
The best part about American British pubs is the cute international bartenders! Unfortunately, British pubs will run out of toilet paper quickly and with no apology. This one will usually hold out until at least 11:30 PM, but it’s anyone’s guess on a Saturday night. Try to keep it to under three beers and pray that their signature fish and chips soaks up any excess liquid before it heads to your bladder. 3 out of 5 purse napkins.
4. Hotel Genesis Rooftop Bar (Midtown, NYC)
This bar is fantastic for friends’ birthday parties where you barely get in due to the judgy door guy. Once you’re inside, however, those $25 whiskey cocktails mean you’re not going to be using that bathroom very often. This place has some of the most intriguing clientele in the city, and they seem to use enough toilet paper to prove it. 5 out of 5 purse napkins.
5. Woodland (Downtown Chicago)
You don’t know it because they don’t have a sign, but you’ve driven past this place at least five times. The door is falling off the hinges but they have some top-shelf gin, and a happy hour that goes until late every day. The dirt-cheap drinks and bizarre forest-themed decor mean this place is going to be packed on a Saturday night and guess what that means? You better be drinking vodka cranberries because you’re getting a UTI tonight from holding it in after the TP runs out at 9:30. 3 out of 5 purse napkins.
Now get out there and hold it!