Brooklyn resident Grace Coleman is seriously so stoked to see that Rochelle Wright, her positively stunning friend, wants to FaceTime, like, right this second.
Without any warning, this earthly goddess used her dainty, perfectly manicured fingers to type Grace’s name and actively seek out the companionship of her favorite Human Resources Administrator, even though Grace has been working from home and has not showered in two full days.
“There are so many things to admire about Rochelle,” says Grace, white-knuckling her ringing iPhone 12, which happens to feature a state-of-the-art high definition display. “Her mesmerizing eyes, with their flecks of gold. The shining waterfall of hair she claims to never wash. But in times like these, I really appreciate her total randomness!”
The call catches Grace right in the middle of her afternoon scroll through Instagram, in her favorite spot on the couch that just happens to have terrible lighting.
“I was going through my feed, then BAM! I’m ambushed with a reflection of my own double chin, and I learn Rochelle wants to see me, even though her modeling schedule is bananas. Wow, that ring sure is loud.”
Grace frantically attempted to smooth out the fine line between her eyebrows as she re-tied the stringy, greasy topknot lumped on her head in anticipation for this incredibly gracious, unplanned call.
“Unfortunately,” the totally grateful recipient of this call continues, “I may need to tell her I can’t make it because of this mole I’m getting checked out,” which is clearly a zit.
“Or if I should just pretend I’m busy? That’s a thing that a hot person would understand.”
As the chirping phone eventually falls silent, Grace lets out a sigh, and the rash of hives on her neck begins to visibly subside, and she decides to text Rochelle back.
“Hey girl! I have to interview dog walkers for that puppy I might adopt. Then, I’m volunteering to play an assailant at a self-defense class. And tomorrow’s no good, because I have to scrub the grout on my bathroom floor. Maybe we should get together after we’re vaccinated? Miss your face!”
When reached for comment, Rochelle confirmed the call was actually a butt dial, and then flashed a truly winning smile.