In a developing story out of Milwaukee, WI, each young adult member of the Friedman family is slowly coming to the realization that their grandma’s age-old “cure” for stomach aches is also the recipe for a baking soda volcano.
“I’d always get carsick on the drive back from her house,” 25-year-old Phoebe Friedman told reporters. “And Grandma would tell me about this ‘trick’ she learned from her mom where you put a spoonful of baking soda under your tongue, then take a swig of vinegar. It tasted awful but she swore by it.”
Sources confirm the reaction between the baking soda and vinegar would regularly make Phoebe projectile vomit, but she always assumed this was her own fault.
“I just figured I was so carsick that my mouth exploded,” she continued. “Huh…in retrospect, that doesn’t make a lot of sense.”
“Did my mom tell the kids to make a baking soda volcano in their mouths again?” Phoebe’s mother, Joanne Friedman, added. “Jesus Christ, I told her to stop doing that. At least it’s better than the old remedy she had with me: gumming cocaine and washing it down with wine.”
Sources confirm Grandma Eugenia is not nearly old enough for cocaine to have been considered a viable tincture at that time.
“She’d keep the baking soda and vinegar in the dash of her car,” said 27-year-old Willow Friedman, oldest sister in the family. “But one time she ran out of baking soda, so we stopped off at a convenience store, and she told me to eat a bunch of mentos then drink a liter of coke.”
Sources confirm this doubles as a popular YouTube challenge.
“Honestly, it worked great,” Willow continued. “Super surprising.”
“Every so-called ‘cure’ we’ve heard from the Friedmans is great cause for concern,” said local doctor Rhea Kingsley. “So far, they’ve described middle school science projects, try-not-to-puke challenges, and every ‘unrecommended and untested experiment’ banned by the FDA. Did no one think of trying Pepto Bismol? Or, I don’t know, some Gravol?”
Sources confirm they would have tried Pepto Bismol, but Grannie Eugenia thought it was “unnatural and dangerous, nothing like grandma’s classic battery acid and metal combo, which works like a charm!”
As of press time, Grandma Eugenia has technically been banned from several states and US territories for recommending that her grandchildren cure a stomach ache with a teensy combination of bleach and ammonia, which does create mustard gas.
