In an impressive display of girlbossery in the workplace, software engineer Evelyn Lee works from home, but still takes time out of her busy day to hide in the bathroom to cry, panic and look at her phone for a long time.
“My boss said we should maintain our workplace culture from home, and I’m taking that very seriously,” said Evelyn, who spent the better part of two years silently crying in the bathroom of her Manhattan office building. “That means maintaining my meeting schedule as well as my hiding schedule.”
Now this is the kind of woman little girls can look up to!
Evelyn lives alone in a studio apartment but maintains that cowering in the bathroom is an important daily meditation.
“Is there a reason for me to hide even though I don’t see my coworkers in the first place?” said Evelyn. “No. Do I feel safe in here? Yeah, I do.”
Hiding in the bathroom has brought Evelyn so much comfort that she’s taken to eating meals in there as well. We asked her if anyone finds this behavior concerning, but she was too busy rocking back and forth, lightly humming.
Work on your own terms, girlie!
However, Evelyn does prefer to switch up her routine.
“Sometimes I’ll lie on the cold granite, others I’ll stand in the shower fully clothed,” she explained. “It’s really about honoring my instincts.”
When asked if he’s noticed Evelyn’s behavior, her coworker Mark said, “Sorry, who? I don’t think I’ve seen an ‘Evelyn’ around the office.”
This is only the latest testament to Evelyn’s prowess for hiding from everyone she’s ever worked with.
“In unprecedented times like these,” she said, “it’s important to remember that the core of American business—hiding in the bathroom for several hours of each workday—remains strong.”
When asked if she’d prefer to continue working from home, Evelyn surprisingly said no.
“Hiding in the bathroom of my apartment is hardly a substitute for the real thing,” she said. “Hiding in the bathroom of an office building in the greatest city in the world!”