Meditation is a great practice for helping yourself become more grounded and present in the moment. But it doesn’t have to affect your current lifestyle! Here are some simple practices you can incorporate into your daily routine that will turn you into a zen goddess in no time, without any of the time, effort, or dedication:
1. Deep Breaths During Commercial Breaks
Just like doing squats and jumping jacks during each commercial break is all the exercise you need to get a ripped bod, doing meditation-style breathing during the commercial breaks is all you need to get super spiritual! Try this technique: Watch the commercials normally, but instead of reclining on the couch, sit up straight, close your eyes, and focus on your breath . Feels nice, doesn’t it? You are one with the universe – until a more interesting commercial comes on.
2. Squeeze it in between Sentences
When you need to take a pause in your speech, try this simple shortcut to spiritual enlightenment: Instead of saying “um,” train yourself to say, “om.” “Om” means “goddess” or something, so this is like a mini-meditation every time you talk to your girlfriends about Real Housewives.
3. Sit on the Floor!
Zen monks meditate by sitting on floor pillows for hours on end, bringing their attention back to their breath and watching their thoughts come and go. You can do this too, but without all the boring waste of time that is “watching your thoughts.” Go out and buy a bunch of cute floor pillows, then invite your girlfriends over for an old-fashioned slumber party, where you stay up late drinking Zinfandel and gossiping about other friends of yours, without giving any thought to the petty words that are coming out of your mouth! Just like a yoga class, but without all the stretches or whatever the fuck they do in yoga class.
4. Know Thyself
Meditation trains you to see yourself clearly—your habits, patterns, and thought processes—so you can come to the understanding that identity is an illusion and you have an essence that shines through all of that. That’s not really much fun, though. Your ego totally rules, so you should strengthen it! Get to know yourself by making lists of all your favorite things! Your fave rom-com’s, binge-worthy snacks, and of course the most kissable celebs.
5. Observe What Is
Is Cathy being a total bitch right now? Is your daughter more popular than you were at her age? Did that—wait, did that lady seriously just take out a checkbook at the grocery store? Notice all of these things, for they are what is happening. Pay extra attention your pet peeves. Remember, you are fully in the present moment, that’s why you’re ready to text like six people about what’s happening right now.
The next time you do whatever you’re doing, take a second to just really be in it or whatever, breathing in your own existence similarly to how you always have been.