Eastern Seaboard Receives Emergency Supply of Alison Roman Cookbooks Overnight

In a measure that will have a profound impact on many lives, the Eastern Seaboard has just received an emergency supply of Alison Roman cookbooks.


This comes at a time when the residents of many east coast cities have maxed out their free New York Times Cooking articles.


“As a New Yorker who loves to eat out, I’ve been hit pretty hard by this pandemic,” explains Jordan St. Paul. “To finally have the aid that will help me cook meals that are delicious and culturally relevant enough to Instagram is beyond vital.”


“This help couldn’t have come sooner,” St. Paul adds.


And St. Paul isn’t alone in her gratitude and relief.



“There’s surviving, and there’s living,” says Rachel Lewis. “And I couldn’t have done either without Alison Roman’s collection of hearty yet sophisticated recipes.”


“I’ve already made The Stew, and tomorrow I’m going to make The Cookies,” Lewis adds. “God, I just wish I could have friends over to see me cooking all this shit. I’ll send them pictures.”


Current projections indicate the shipment could fit everyone on Instagram with a story about making shallot pasta by as soon as this weekend.


“Maybe I’ll take a picture of it with the corner of the cookbook visible and tag Alison,” says Lewis through tears. “This is just a really hard time, and we can all use any help we can get to make sufficiently desirable meals.”


Governor Cuomo is currently in the process of trying to secure Umami Bomb for those who already tore through Dining In.