Drop Everything: Woman In Book Has Delicate Features

In a monumental moment for both literature and womankind, the #1 book on the New York Times bestseller list features a female character with – if you can believe it – “delicate facial features.”




The book in question is Swedish author Kallax Malm’s debut novel A Miserable Life. In what is being described by the literary community as “an incredibly brave and insightful choice” and “a really chill way to describe a woman,” Malm’s main (and only) female character has facial attributes so noticeably miniscule that they are mentioned every time her character appears in the 900-page novel (so, twice). Groundbreaking.


You’re gonna need to stop what you’re doing and head straight to the bookstore, because Malm generously describes each of the unnamed female character’s itty bitty features. She has “slender hips,” “a delicate chin,” “perky breasts,” “little bb twig legs,” “barely-there elbows,” “inconsequential ankles,” and “ears so fucking cute and tiny that they can only be seen with a microscope, and not the shitty classroom kind, the powerful microscopes real scientists use.” And, yes, the rumors are true: she does have a button nose.


In fact, this woman’s features are so naturally dainty and elegant that she never bothers with makeup. And somehow, not wearing makeup makes her somehow more beautiful to Malm’s protagonist. Can we get this guy a Pulitzer already?



Talk about a representation win! By choosing to include an adorable female character in his book, Malm has paved the way for tiny, symmetrical women everywhere. Even more than that, he’s carved out a space for the men who are attracted to them. Literature is so powerful.


When asked to elaborate on his decision to include a cute lil woman in his narrative, Malm explained: “I asked myself if anyone would really care about this unnamed woman’s character arc, from getting coffee to fetching the stapler, if she had a huge honker and, like, weird bloaty knees? And the muses gave me my answer: no. She simply had to be tiny.”


And great news, book-heads! Malm is reportedly hard at work on his follow-up. While he wouldn’t give too much away, he is confident that his future works will showcase a diverse array of groundbreaking female characters, including a crazy ex-wife, a coworker who is always brushing her hair out of her face, a teacher who is nerdy but also somehow sexy, and a sister-in-law who is beautiful, but doesn’t know it. Finally.