Mother of three Kristy Shipp thought she would join the ranks of the parents, teachers, and grandparents having fun on TikTok. However, in a heartbreaking turn of events, the 48-year-old has struggled to master the basic choreography required for many of the app’s viral dances.
This tragic tale started in mid 2019 when Shipp noticed that her daughters and their friends were all completely obsessed with the video-sharing application TikTok. Shipp gamely created an account and started spending hours of each day watching teens lip sync. But here’s where the story gets sad.
At first, Shipp was excited to try the dance memes beloved by teenagers, celebrities, and, yes, even moms. But no matter how hard she tried, the nuances of the “Say So” dance remained elusive, she was way off beat for “The Box,” and she didn’t even bother trying with “Get Up” – too fast!
“How is everyone else doing this?” asked a tearful Shipp. “I just saw a 95-year-old woman doing the Renegade on roller skates. How??”
What makes this story particularly devastating is the fact that Shipp has historically prided herself on participated in Gen Z’s hottest trends, considering herself a “fun mom” who “knows what’s up.” She is reportedly a huge Billie Eilish fan, and she gave her daughters vape pens for Christmas. In 2018, Shipp even created a “finsta”, which she uses exclusively to post images of pretty gardens she encounters on her morning walks.
“I never want my daughters to think I’m out of touch, or that I don’t get where they’re coming from,” explained Shipp. “And I know how much they appreciate me for it.”
“We never asked her to do any of that,” commented Shipp’s 16-year-old daughter.
But the intrepid Shipp has not given up on her quest to master the moves. She has watched Emma Chamberlain’s videos a total of 90,000 times, enrolled in hip-hop classes at the local dance studio, and recently paid her youngest daughter to break down the “Cannibal” dance step-by-step. After three hours of drilling, some tears, and a screaming fight, Shipp was able to do a version of the dance her daughter deemed passable enough to post. And so far, it’s garnered 64 views!
What’s next for this enterprising mother?
“I’m not sure yet,” says Shipp. “But a face tattoo isn’t out of the question.”
