In a developing story out of a Portland coffee shop, 24-year-old barista Stacy Pereira will absolutely be making a very milky chai latte for the customer who didn’t tip.
“It’s not like I can berate her for not tipping,” said Stacy. “So this is my tiny way of maintaining power in this situation.”
Stacy, who is working her way through graduate school, went on to explain her petty, espresso beverage-based revenge techniques.
“The milk-heavy chai latte is a go-to,” she said. “But then you also got the classic putting-just-a-little-too-much-foam on a no-foam cappuccino, and the ol’ standby: giving them the smallest strawberry danish.”
“You gotta do what you can to preserve your dignity in this economy,” Stacy added.
Non-tipping customers are shocked that service workers are treating them this way.
“Why should I have to tip to get above and beyond service?” pondered one Katherine Leahy. “I can’t believe I’m getting a basic, regular quality product just because I’m not paying extra for it.”
“Yeah, it should be up to their employers to pay the baristas a livable wage, I shouldn’t have to contribute,” said Jackson Wong, a habitual non-tipper. “It’s not like I couldn’t just get behind there and make a three-shot soy mocha myself. I think…”
“What’s next, I have to tip my hairdresser and food delivery guys?”
But Stacy is steadfast in her trivial vengeance.
“I get that people think they shouldn’t have to compensate for me being underpaid,” said Stacy. “But we don’t exist in a utopia where service workers are being paid a living wage, so by not tipping, people are basically admitting to wage theft. So I’ll continue my reign of very minor terror in this coffee shop. It’s what Marx would want, I assume.”
“If I don’t deserve a tip, then you don’t deserve a reasonable amount of this spiced chai syrup,” she added.