After experiencing a life-shattering breakup after a six-year relationship, Chicago couple Grant Terry and Kori Babbitt was surprised and dismayed to find that the split barely even registered with their friends.
“When Grant ended things, I immediately told the group chat what happened. They said how sorry they were and that they were there for me, but five minutes later, everyone was talking about their own stuff again,” said Kori. “I’m sorry, but my thing was that I was dumped by the man I was going to marry? I was hoping we’d at least go out for coffee or something.”
When the guys halfheartedly invited Grant out for drinks with them, he hoped that they would commiserate or help him find a rebound but was disappointed to find they just wanted to watch the playoffs.
Despite their friends not giving any indications that they care that personally, the couple still chooses to believe that their relationship was monumental for everyone.
“I’m sorry, but we were Grant and Kori. The Grant and Kori,” said Kori. “We met in college, have gone to eleven weddings together, and have been basically inseparable since Obama’s second term.”
“They’re acting like we’re Dan and Jamie, and they only hooked up like six times.”
The couple was further crushed to find that their breakup didn’t affect their friend group at all, either, with both of them being invited to the same brunch only three days later.
Realizing that the only people that wanted to talk about the breakup were each other, the ex-couple decided to meet up for drinks.
“I mean, it’s not like we were Dan and Jamie!” said Kori, followed by an “Exactly!!” from Grant. After seven cocktails, the couple decided to take drastic measures to get their breakup the attention it deserved, including sobbing at work, shattering Grant’s windshield with a tire iron, and starting pregnancy rumors.
After efforts failed, the couple reports that if nobody gives a shit either way, they might as well just get back together to see if anyone cares about that.