In a paradoxical story emerging from a brownstone in Manhattan, NY, 26-year-old Ace Broadman absolutely hates writing in her journal but absolutely loves reading in her journal, and as such, she is now at an impossible impasse.
“I love reading old entries to see what my mindset was like at different times in my life,” Ace told reporters gathered at the scene. “They’re just such beautiful snapshots of the tumultuous periods, and I’m so grateful to have them.”
When reporters asked Ace whether she plans to write in her journal any time soon, she confidently said, “Absolutely not.”
“I’ve gone through periods when I say I’m ‘going to get back into journaling,’ but I simply never do,” she continued. “It’s time I stop lying to myself and others. I hate journaling. I can never bring myself to do it. It sucks. What could I possibly have to say?”
Given her disdain for writing in her journal but her love of reading her journal back, Ace has read every single entry approximately 9 times each.
“There’s a beautiful arc to the entry on December 6, 2007 when I was eight years old and away at camp for the first time,” she continued. “I just love engaging with this character. And by character, of course I mean my eight-year-old self.”
Any time Ace does write in her journal, it’s with the conscious intention of reading it back over the next several years.
“I address my older self every time I write, because I know I’ll be reading it thousands of times over the course of my life,” she continued. “This does mean my entries are rarely honest, but always entertaining!”
Given the lack of source material to work with, Ace’s passion for reading her journal has spilled over into her other relationships.
“I read my boyfriend’s diary, not because I wanted to know anything in particular, but just because I’m a huge fan of the form,” she continued, leafing through the journal in question. “I did find out some fucked up stuff, though. Turns out he’s been cheating on me for months. Journal reading is not for the faint of heart.”
As of press time, Ace convinced herself to sit down and write in her journal for ten minutes. She was so proud of herself for doing this that she maintains she’s going to start journaling every day from here on out. Reporters, however, estimate that the next time she writes will be 2035.
