Charming Ways to Remind Your Husband You Own Half

couple in bathroom

Every marriage has its rough patches. Whether you’re madly in love or on the rocks, there’s no harm in reminding your husband of your worth, specifically in financial terms that he can understand. Try these charming tactics to show your other half that legally, you own half of all your mutual belongings. Don’t fuck this up, Chad!


Withdraw half your joint checking account, just for fun.

Being spontaneous is romantic! A large withdrawal from a joint account without his knowledge, followed by a deposit of the same amount back into that account, is a fun-loving way to tell your husband, “Half-sies!” Making an enormous, purposeless withdrawal like this will show your husband just how much you mean to him, in cash.


Start wearing half his clothes.

What’s the point of getting married at all if you can’t share clothes? Simply wearing your guy’s t-shirt or jeans is something a girlfriend would do, not a wife. Girlfriends don’t own shit! Mix and match your blazers with his suits. Start wearing half of his clothes, half of the time, starting with his underwear. Seeing you wearing his boxers, socks, pants, shirts, and hats will fill him with an understanding that you possess half of his possessions.


Eat half of all his meals from now on.

Sharing meals is a sign of intimacy. Only couples who love each other (and legally own half of one another’s assets) share their food, which is why you should eat half of your husband’s sandwiches throughout your marriage. As he’s about to take the first bite, grab the sandwich and rip it in half, then eat your half. Helping yourself to half of every one of his sandwiches sends a strong message that you are not to be underestimated.



Make sure the dog knows she’s only 50% his pet.

A dog is a cute and cuddly precursor to having a kid, so why not practice what it would be like to share custody? Simply shave a dividing line horizontally down her little doggie body, letting him know that half of Ruthie is legally half yours! Not that you’re ready to divide up her week and make her schedule unstable; this is just so everyone’s on the same page.


Mow it into the lawn.

Nothing sends a clearer message to your husband (and those snooping neighbors) than mowing “I OWN HALF” into your front lawn.Your husband and neighbors will definitely know that you own not just half of the lawn, you own half of the house, the car, the dog, and dehumidifier. You will not be made a fool!


Marriage is about sharing love, laughter and assets equally. While you and your husband may belong to each other, always remember that half still belongs to you.