Every fit feminist knows that being both fit and feminist can be exhausting. That’s why we did the calculations and discovered how to burn over 500 calories per hour with these exhausting feminist debates:
Lean In, Lean Out – 500 calories/hour.
The “mommy wars” aren’t just a legitimate topic for debate – they also make a great core workout. The questions about “having it all,” and what that even means, and how privilege impacts that conversation – they’re so exhausting to talk about that you’ve avoided them since you finished the audiobook of Lean In last December. But remember: avoiding complex dialogues is the same laziness as avoiding the gym. Standing with feet about hips width apart, gesticulate wildly as you make your points and use a broom or other household supply for emphasis. To make the even more challenging, find a group of stay-at-home moms to engage in a full-on war, for a great cardio workout as well. To avoid injury: don’t talk about bottle-feeding.
Sexuality and Feminism- 400-600 calories/hour.
The sexuality debate pits one woman’s liberated sexual expression against another’s playing into the hands of the patriarchy. From Beyoncé theory to victim-blaming, there’s so much to discuss here – you can repeat this move for hours! Channel your energy into fist-pumping and heated room-pacing as you argue about whether or not makeup is harmful. In an hour, you’re going to burn at least 400 calories. Personal insults are guaranteed to burn an additional 100 calories per hour.
“Should Feminists Shut Up, Quit Whining and Look Pretty?” – 600+ calories/hour.
If you are REALLY craving some hardcore feminist rage calorie burn, try this fat-blasting circuit: Message any Facebook friend who empathizes with Ray Rice and “Likes” Fox News to meet you for lunch, telling him/her that you would like to settle your differences in a civilized way. Sitting with your back hunched over in rage, work your way through these eight stations: grind your teeth, clench a fake smile, nod vigorously, roll your eyes, raise your voice, clench your fists, stand up and prepare to leave, then sit back down. Rest for 30 seconds before starting the circuit again.
After you finally storm off, the lingering memory of the obnoxious and polarizing things that were said will continue burning calories long after you leave, via your new, permanent eye-twitch.
Take on these never-ending feminist debates, and you, my friend, are on your way to debating that ass right off!
