Board Game Friend is Weirdly Cheerful About All of This

In a story out of Seattle, WA, 26-year-old board game enthusiast Carmen Nunez is being weirdly and suspiciously cheerful about this whole thing.


“I mean, the pandemic is scary of course,” said Carmen. “But who needs to leave the house when you’ve got Settlers Of Catan? By the way, does anybody want to play?”


For Carmen, who has been torturing her friends with endless game nights since college, this quarantine is her time to shine.


“How could I feel bad when I’ve got Scrabble and Sorry?” she said. “I even dug up 1313 Dead End Drive for a little nostalgia. Social distancing has been amazing!”


Carmen’s roommates do not share the same attitude about the ongoing pandemic.


“We’ve had to constantly pretend we’re too drunk or high to understand when I explain a game’s rules,” Carmen’s roommate, Sharon, added. “It’s starting to feel like work.”


“I spend most of my time having panic attacks in my room,” said Leigh-Ann Asper. “I’m really worried about my friends and family getting sick. Meanwhile, Carmen is like joyfully setting up LIFE on the coffee table. I think she’s really…enjoying this?”


“Yeah, I can’t really dig myself out of the hole of anxiety I’m in,” said Tracy Lu. “I wish Carmen could bottle the cheer she’s feeling about all this and give some to me. Or at least shut the fuck up about Anomia for ten minutes.



But that doesn’t seem to be in the cards for Carmen.


“Everyone’s moping around, worried about their fate and stuff, it’s so dark,” she said. “It’s like, channel that into some Cards Against Humanity, you know?”


“Maybe a good game of Monopoly will get them to come around.”