This time of year can be hard for many. The weather brings seasonal depression. For others, the holidays surface moody feelings. But for everyone, Spotify rolls out a series of wrap-up playlists that drag its subscribers for what they’ve been listening to for the past 1-10 years. Do you really want to post those humiliating summaries on social media and give everyone real data that proves you’re as basic as they all thought you were? We compiled a list of binge-able artists to fix your embarrassing algorithm.
For when Taylor Swift somehow snuck in…
Phoebe Bridgers
Huge mood! Listen, Taylor did come out some bops this decade, but having tracks like “Scott Street” and “Motion Sickness” in your 2019 In Review playlist will have people being like, “Wow she really went through some shit this year!”
For when Ariana Grande makes you look obsessed with pop…
Charli XCX
Another pop queen who came out with some of the decade’s best hits. However, everyone listened to Ariana Grande, so there has to be a way to show that you’re better than everyone else. You’re not like other girls! That’s why you listen to Charli XCX. Her pop is complex. You’re so deep!
For when Ed Sheeran being in your top artists is straight up humiliating…
James Blake
James Blake is everything: indie, electronic, and so emotional that it’ll totally negate whatever noise from Ed Sheeran ended up in your top tracks. Binge-stream Blake’s discography so people think you have better musical taste than a bland fictional character in a rom com.
For when Justin Timberlake is plaguing your top artists…
Megan Thee Stallion
Oh no! People are going to think you mistook Justin Timberlake for a rapper! Fortunately, Meg will up your street cred so much that people will be like, “Dang, she listened to some hard shit” when you repost! Cash $hit is a certified banger.
For when you thought you were listening to “Despacito” in private mode that whole time…
ROSALÍA
Rosalía is such a genius singer-songwriter that her actual Spanish background will make up for that summer when you twerked to Despacito and got really into “mixology” cocktails made from 99% margarita mix. Bump Rosalía and people will think maybe you’re an audiophile? Wild!
For when One Republic appearing makes you want to unsubscribe from Spotify entirely…
Sharon Van Etten
One Republic? Yikes! That’s a hard one to stomach. Fortunately the indie singer/songwriter Sharon Van Etten has so many great heartbreaking and poetic songs that your followers will think, “omg is she okay? Her life must be so tragic!”
For when Coldplay shows up to ruin your coolness…
Boygenius
We don’t mean to shame you, but we’re sorry that Coldplay showed up in your top, especially in this decade. We couldn’t imagine a more mortifying group. That’s why we included the all-female supergroup boygenius! The collaborative girlboss-ness of boygenius will make you look like a super cool feminist!
Maybe you’re thinking, “Do I even have to post my Spotify wrap-up? That’s just free marketing for Spotify! What even is pop rap anyway?” But if you pretend to be some anticonformist, we’ll all know why and we will remember. There’s still a month left to fix your embarrassing choices from the past decade. So repair your algorithm before it’s too late!
