Beautiful, Body-Posi Affirmations That Don’t Apply to Your Body Type

Every person should feel good inside and out — no matter the size of their body. That’s why the body-positive movement is so great: It promotes the idea that your body is perfect just the way it is, even though it somehow never seems to celebrate your specific body. Anyway, here are some inspirational quotes that you can’t relate to but are inspiring!


“Real women have curves!”

Even though you’ve been both “large” and “average,” you’ve never had curves. For some reason, your waistline is as wide as your hips, your butt is flat and your boobs are super small! Unlike Shawna, whose body is somehow curvy and tiny, your body is just a big lumpy rectangle. Write this on a Post-it and put it on the desk of a co-worker who’s a real woman. (Shawna?)


“Strong is sexy”

Yes! Muscles are sex, though you have trouble pushing revolving doors because of your lack of arm strength (or leg or back or glute strength). Unlike Shawna, whose beautiful, beautiful Michelle Obama arms once pushed the revolving doors behind you and sent you flying out like a pinball.


“I may be 5’3” but my attitude is six feet tall”

OK, so if you’re over 5’3” this one really isn’t for you. But good for all those women! Maybe instead of loving yourself, you should try loving them for who THEY are.


“Curly hair is beautiful”

Sooo, you actually have straight hair. Don’t ever change! Unless you want to be beautiful for having curly hair. Then change! Be beautiful, be you! Be like Shawna. She has curly hair.


“Doesn’t matter what fruit you’re shaped like — you look delicious!”

Your arms are kind of banana-shaped, but your body is more like two pears that grew fused together. Your legs are sort of carrot-like, but that’s not a fruit. It’s hard to buy jeans. You look delicious! Shawna is shaped like the Chiquita Banana lady.



“Honk if you’re a bodybuilder!”

This is just a bumper sticker. But close enough! Slap it on your big-ass bumper.


Return to these inspiring bodi-posi sentiments whenever you’re not feeling strong, and they’ll remind you to love your body and all its unique features (that aren’t at all like Shawna’s, who maybe isn’t even the same species as you). In time, you’ll be lucky enough to be the type of person who never ever stops ever thinking about her body ever.