Audrey Is Getting Super Into Twine

Reports have confirmed disturbing news that your friend Audrey is getting super into twine.


Though reports indicate Audrey has always been the “crafty” one of your friend group, she is now particularly enamored with the loosely threaded string that gives a charming, rustic look to any object.


“It wasn’t so bad when she was just using it to clothespin Polaroids to her wall,” her sister Hannah says. “But now, she’s buying it by the spool. She’s batshit for twine.”


The warning signs were hard to spot, as Audrey’s initial uses of twine were reportedly “quirky’ and “Pinterest-worthy” according to her family and friends.


“At first it was nice because everything had a homespun feel to it,” Audrey’s roommate Michelle, explains. “But now she’s wrapping rent checks in twine, and I’m considering moving out.”



Witnesses say that Audrey has been using twine to hang Edison bulbs in the living room, threading uncomfortable necklaces for her friends using buttons and seashells, and even fashioning a miniature hammock for her stuffed animals to sleep in.


This isn’t the only time Audrey has allegedly gone nuts for a crafting product. Earlier last year she went through a displaced Scrabble pieces phase, gluing the letters to journal covers and coffee tables. Your friends also cite her obsession with dried flower petals last July.


“The good news is that she’ll eventually move on to something else,” your friend Michelle says. “The bad news is that she’s going to move on to something else.”


When reached for comment, Audrey said, “Here, let me tie your hair back with this piece of twine.”