‘All Are Welcome Here,’ Says Sign in Neighborhood Where Average Home Costs $2 Million

In an inspiring story out of Greenwich, CT, one town member took political action by erecting sign in their front yard that says, “All Are Welcome Here”, even though the average price for a modest home in the neighborhood is $2 million.


“We just wanted to do something special, you know…with everything going on,” said homeowner Kate Waltham-Hopkins, gesturing broadly to everything around her. “You know, racism and the like.”

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Sources remain unsure what Waltham-Hopkins meant by “the like.”


“We wanted to be 100% clear that everyone belongs in our neighborhood,” continued her husband Davis, before clarifying, “As long as you have the type of down payment that only comes from inherited wealth, of course. But that’s a technicality.”



One of the Waltham-Hopkins’ neighbors, local mom Carolyn Malthus, was inspired by the brave action they took and even put up a sign on her own lawn that says, “In this house, Black Lives Matter, no human is illegal, and love is love” right next to a different sign that warns, “This neighborhood is closely monitored by Connecticut Police.”


“I could work a lifetime at minimum wage and never afford a house there,” said Ryan Weisz, from a nearby town. “But I guess the colors on the sign are pretty.”


“The best part of it all,” said Waltham-Hopkins, “is that we can write off the sign as a charitable expense!”


“It just feels so good to show everyone that we’re nothing like those Republican rich people,” said another local mom, Karen Wyatt. “We think gay people are swell!”


At press time, Wyatt was seen avoiding eye contact the Latino day laborer she underpays to mow her lawn while signing a Change.org petition to “tell Mitch McConnell to fuck off.”