In a story out of the New York City C train, passengers with clear sight of 25-year-old Lauren Winn’s phone screen as she swiped Tinder were able to conclude that she has god-awful taste in potential dating partners.
“I had no interest in snooping, but this lady’s screen was just right there, full brightness, for everyone to see,” Ryan Nakamura, a high schooler sitting right next to Lauren told us. “When I saw who she was swiping right on, I just couldn’t look away. My thoughts go out to this woman’s therapist.”
“That last dude had an uneven beard, and he got a right swipe,” said one anonymous woman, who was standing over Lauren because there were no more seats left. “Then she matched with a girl who only posted mirror selfies – and I could barely even see her because her mirror was so dirty. I mean, this is what gets her off?”
“And then she goes and swipes left on that nice-looking young man with the hot bod and cute dog, with the floppy ears. I just don’t get it,” the anonymous source continued. “That was a clear right-swipe if I ever saw one.”
According to witnesses who were present at the scene, Lauren also swiped right on men holding fish, women only looking for a threesome with their gross boyfriends, visibly unshowered men with sad looking dogs, a girl in boat shoes, and someone whose top Spotify artist was G-Eazy – all the while everyone around her watched in dismay and concern.
Sources say Lauren obliviously spent her commute messaging these people on Tinder, while everyone exchanged worried glances, until finally the old man sitting to her left gave a loud tsk-tsk when she matched with a faceless profile with just a wedding ring emoji in their bio.
Realizing her Tinder activity was on display for the whole subway car, Lauren responded to the backlash, saying, “Clearly, we have no respect for privacy anymore. Who I choose to get traumatized by is my business, and my business only.”
At press time, Lauren reportedly received an AirDrop to an online therapy service by an anonymous subway passenger.