The pressures and hardships of adulthood can oftentimes stand in stark contrast to one’s warm, wistful memories of childhood. 29-year-old Maura Wallace knows this all too well, her recent move to New York City causing to yearn for the familiar comforts of home –– specifically, her rich childhood friend’s home.
“Adulthood is so scary, and moving to a new city is especially daunting,” Maura told reporters. “It’s really making me miss the simple pleasures of home. Andi’s home, to be exact. Her parents were, like, rich rich.”
When asked to name some of these simple pleasures, Maura was more than happy to explain.
“They had a huge sectional in their basement and they would have their chefs make us white chicken chili and cornbread from scratch,” she said, her eyes becoming glazed over with nostalgia. “Things were better then.”
However, when reporters asked about her own childhood home, Maura became noticeably less nostalgic.
“Yeah, my childhood actually wasn’t super comforting,” Maura said. “My parents were health nuts so we never had anything good to eat in the house and the only TV they let us watch was Blue Bloods, for some reason.”
However, Maura said this didn’t matter, as whatever she lacked at her own home growing up, she was able to make up for tenfold at Andi’s house.
“Andi’s parents let us watch whatever we wanted,” Maura sighed, her yearning back again in full force. “They had a VCR collection that rivaled Blockbuster and a movie projector like the ones they use in theaters.”
Maura said that, now, having grown up and moved to a strange new city, everything that she used to take for granted when hanging out with Andi’s family has been thrown into stark relief.
“I don’t have AC in my apartment,” she said. “And it just reminds me how my parents didn’t have AC either and how nice it was to go over to Andi’s house and luxuriate in the crisp cool air while
At press time, Maura admitted that she actually respects how her parents were pragmatic, healthy, and didn’t use AC because they cared about the environment. However, she also said that it’s hard to not yearn for the lifestyle of Andi and her old-money parents.
“They had a snow cone machine, goddamnit!” she said, throwing her arms up in the air. “Of course I’m going to miss a snow cone machine!”
