You know the feeling—you want to text your crush, but have no idea which falcon pic to send to him. Stop boring him to tears with pictures of shitty falcons he doesn’t care about! We compiled the top falcon pix that are guaranteed to pique his interest and make him text you back ASAP.
1. This Falcon Who Looks Like His Wings Are Growing Out Of His Head
Nothing gets a guy’s attention like a falcon that is full of fucking testosterone, or whatever falcons have instead of testosterone (falcon testosterone?). This falcon is amped for sex, drugs, and definitely that piece of meat in his beak. If you send your crush this falcon, get ready for an immediate reply as he realizes you’re the cool meat scrap he wants. Holla!
2. These Fuckin’ Weird Things
These weird-ass pillows with legs are baby falcons, and nothing makes a guy want to have sex with you more than gazing upon feathered little beanbags with heads. Sorry, did we say “have sex with you”? We meant “text you back”. Um, hello—better!
3. This Dejected Falcon
Nothing excites a guy more so than a real dejected-ass falcon that looks like its player just died in a video game. He’ll be texting you back so quick you’ll be like, “Whoa there, what, do you have like, nothing to do? I don’t like you anymore!” Yessss!!!
4. This Falcon Who Keeps Trying to Point at Things With His Wings But Forgets He Doesn’t Have Real Hands
For a new inside joke between you and your crush, look no further than this falcon pic. It shows an idiot falcon who thinks he can point at something. Newsflash, moron, you don’t have fingers, so like, what exactly are you pointing at???? No one can tell! You and your crush will be texting insults back and forth for HOURS about this fucking stupid ass bird who’s probably (hopefully!) dead by now!
5. The Star Wars Falcon
This is the Star Wars Falcon. Sending your crush a picture of the Star Wars Falcon makes him know you’re a cool girl who loves rocket ships just like he does! Ooh girl, get ready for that hotline to bling!
6. This Falcon Who Knows What You Did
Sending him this falcon pic sends the message that you are always watching him, and that is hot as fuck to literally all men. He will text you back because you are to be respected.
7. This Falcon That Is Trying WAY Too Hard
This falcon is trying way too hard, but you won’t have to try too hard—to get a text back, that is! This falcon pic is the avian equivalent of the wink emoji, all caw-cawing and shit, so it’s perfect when you really feel like getting your flirt on.
8. Upside-Down Falcon
Is he falling or flying??? Is he actually upside-down, or is his head just on the bottom? Your crush will HAVE to know the answers immediately, making this falcon pic the perfect conversation starter.
9. This Falcon No One Likes
Lol!!! No one likes this falcon, and you can tell. Sending your crush this falcon pic will make him go, “Wait, does she think this falcon is me???” and he will need to text you back ASAP, making sure you don’t think that the shitty falcon in the picture is him. Fuuuck, this falcon suuuucks.
10. Especially This Falcon
Want to make him feel like a man? Nothing makes a guy feel more masculine—or more talkative—than this specific falcon pic. When he opens up this magnificent avian text, his muscles will swell, his skin will sprout feathers, and he will respond within seconds as the falcon-like energy pulses within him! Also he will become a falcon. Tight!!!
Never send an uninteresting falcon pic to your crush again and he will always respond to you right away and also definitely not ask “who dis” this time!