The military jacket is one of the most timeless styles in fashion. You know what that means: It’s time to make these fashionable emblems of power and death work for you and your ironclad grudge against your office’s financial Mussolini, Becky. These eight fierce styles are guaranteed to say, “I am strong, I am powerful, and I am at war with that bitch Becky from accounting.”
- Urban Renewal Vintage French Surplus Jacket (Urban Outfitters, $79)
Originally used by the French military, this vintage surplus jacket gives a nod to World War II by saying, “I will no longer tolerate your fascist expense reporting policies, Becky.” It also has tons of pockets for you to hide her desk accouterments when she isn’t looking.
- Freeport Field Jacket (L.L.Bean, $99)
Blend into the background in this all-purpose camo-print field jacket from L.L.Bean. Featuring muted greens and greys, this jacket is the perfect camouflage for your guerilla-style stakeout behind the ficus next to the office fridge. You know Becky’s been stealing your Mango Madness smoothies and you will not stand for it..
- Veronica Beard Camp Cotton Twill Jacket (Intermix, $695)
Show them you mean business in this classic, no-nonsense design by Veronica Beard. Wear it to work and leave ‘em with a direct order: From now on your 11:30 AM, poop breaks are to take precedence over Becky’s invoice meeting and that is a non-negotiable! Atten-hut!
- Zara Military Jacket (Zara, $99.90)
This modern silhouette has a Mao collar that says, “Only a communist such as Becky would send reply-all emails that just say, ‘Sounds good!’” WAR.
- Multi-Pocket Jacket (Topshop, $85)
This shirt jacket is lightweight enough to wear around the office all day but not so lightweight that it’s “accidentally” see-through like that low-class hussy Becky’s blouse.
- SET Military Jacket (Saks, $445)
Bring all of your emotional baggage to work with this relaxed-cool military jacket by SET. You’ll look like a badass even though Mark from accounts receivable was super into you until Becky threw herself at him last Margarita Monday.
- Marc by Marc Jacobs Gabardine Military Jacket (Nordstrom, $578)
The bold colors of this whimsical Marc by Marc Jacobs jacket send a clear message to your coworkers: There is NO NEUTRALITY in this office! This is not fucking Switzerland. They’re either with you or they suck, just like Becky.
- United States Army Official Uniform (Army.mil, Free of charge with enlistment)
Make the ultimate statement by enlisting in the United States Army, completing ten weeks of basic training, obtaining your official uniform, going AWOL, and then returning to work, all to show Becky that you are willing to follow her to the bloody gates of hell (or HR) in order to win this war! YOU HEAR THAT, BECKY?!
Any of these jackets will be perfect to die on the hill that is Becky and her stupid dumb love of numbers in. Break out one of these babies, and all she’ll be wearing is a white flag!
