It’s 2016, and the antiquated tradition of men marking their property with a ring is long gone. In these progressive times, women can do it right back! But your guy won’t take kindly to a ring as shiny and pretty as yours. Luckily, there are plenty of durable, rugged options out there that will secure the man who’s not entirely secure in his masculinity.
1. Men’s 7.0mm Engraved Two-Tone Titanium Band (Zales, $49.99)
Titanium, fuck yeah! This engagement ring is perfect because no one will be able to tell it’s an engagement ring unless it’s off his finger and he’ll never have to look, as he says, “pussy whipped.”
2. Men’s Stainless Steel Bottle Opener Ring (Avon, $39.99)
You know your guy; if he can open a Blue Moon with it, he’s gotta have it. So cute! This engagement ring symbolizes that your marriage is going to be practical and useful for him, just like that bottle-opening pair of Reefs flip flops he’s owned since high school.
3. Men’s Tungsten Wood Ring, (INBLUE, $15.29)
This engagement ring is made of the toughest metal and hardwood. Just like your man! It’ll fit right in at his favorite hang spot—the man cave you’re not allowed in!
4. Stainless Steel Black Cool Password Mens Ring (eBay, $10.99)
You know from watching movies that men love to crack codes and figure out puzzles. Keep your man engaged while he’s engaged by giving him this ring, which you can set to your wedding date if you really want to stump him.
5. Carbide Rings with Laser Forever Love Design (Jewelrywe, $6.99)
Lasers, motherfucker. LASERS.
6. The One Ring (Jens Hansen, $79)
For the nerdy guy from the cool lady who indulges his obsessions, this replica is from the manufacturers of the actual ring used in the Lord of the Rings movies. As long as you mention that last part, you’re guaranteed a yes.
7. Artisan Crafted Leather Accent Sterling Silver Band Ring (Novica, $99.99)
Leather, like his shoes and his belt. Perfect!
8. Ford Mustang Vintage Car Key Ring (Etsy, $75)
The only thing he might just love more than you is repurposed Americana. Give him what will make him say “sick, dude” to you, his fiancée. Vroom vroom!
Gone are the days when men couldn’t express their love for you in subtle, hardened, manly ways; get him a ring that says, “Suck my dick, traditional masculinity!”