Got weak, uninspiring brows? Just because you don’t have the brow game it takes to command a boardroom or close a deal doesn’t mean you have to give up your career dreams. With any of these work-at-home jobs, you can hide your sad, fucked-up face while making bank at the same time. So check out these great gigs for someone with your strengths and brow weakness. Maybe then you can buy yourself better brows?
If you possess the talent but not the eyebrows, online teaching could be right up your alley. Thanks to new collaborative software, you can teach students remotely, from the comfort of your shame-filled home. The actual lessons may happen via video chat though, so don’t forget to downgrade your wifi or invest in a mask!
Working over the phone will give you the confidence of a full-browed practitioner. You’ll be able to help others and give diagnoses without making sick people uneasy. It’s for the best!
Shape this assistant role around what you’re best at: performing tasks from super far away! Tons of companies are looking for virtual assistants and they don’t even care what your brows look like! Plus, an executive won’t ever have to look you in the eye and decide you’re not leadership potential.
Customer Service Representative
Are you a people person? With a stunted little half-brow? Great! This job is well suited to someone with your personality and appearance. You can do this job part-time or full-time depending on how many hours a day you spend drawing hair onto your forehead and wishing for a better life.
Not everybody is cut out for a demanding high profile job, and that’s okay! If you weren’t born with the ability to frame your own face, but you are able to answer questions about beauty products, look no further: Retailers are constantly looking for data on shopping habits, so hunch over your computer and become a survey taker. It will look sad when you try to furrow your brow but don’t worry; nobody’s looking!
Search Engine Evaluator
This one’s a no-brainer. You just search for things and then record how closely the results matched what you were looking for. Since you’ve been Googling ways to improve your eyebrows for years, you should be ready to go! Finally you’ve got a purpose!
Just because you have terribly weak eyebrows doesn’t mean you can’t have a job you love—it just means your job has to keep at home out of sight. Happy employment!