It can be hard to be an INFJ sometimes – we have different opinions, mannerisms, and blood types than other people. And while it’s a little tricky to be a lady who’s a little bit introverted and a little bit extroverted, our community continues to thrive in a variety of fields. Take the classic American activity of pooping: If you’re really an INFJ chick, you defecate your way, or not at all.
You know you’re an INFJ if you like to poop near…
Showers!
There’s just something about a shower near the toilet that helps us INFJs feel protected and safe. As the designated protectors in the Myers-Briggs hierarchy, being comforted is a pleasant change for us comforters. Also, our uncanny insight tells us that after this poop is over, we might want to shower.
Ferns!
INFJs love to be surrounded by nature – so a veil of vascular plants gently caressing our haunches during a good BM is our idea of a good time. As a “gentler” people, we also love to give back to the earth, so re-gifting fertilizer to a hungry plant is so us. If you poop in the woods, you’re probably INFJ.
Maps!
If you’re a bona fide INFJ, chances are you take solace in the unfamiliar – and after eating that block of Gouda cheese alone in your apartment (’cause INFJs love their alone time!), you’re gonna need an adventurous place to poop. Does your shower curtain have a map on it? Do you love nothing more than to imagine traveling to strange new places as you drop a deuce? If the answer is yes, you’re classic INFJ. Bombs away, Nepal!
Quilted TP!
You’re not like those aggressive ENTPs– you like something soft and quilted on your nether regions after a long spell on the loo. Because we’re so sensual, toilet paper texture is especially important to an INFJ girl’s anus.
Netflix!
It’s statistically proven that INFJs poop longer than other personality types. We’re so intuitive that sometimes we tend to overthink things. But on the flip side, we’re loath to waste time on worthless activities – talk about a paradox! You know you’re totally “in” on this niche personality type if you ever catch yourself shitting while watching a lengthy Ken Burns documentary on your iPhone, just letting it slide out real slow.
Other People!
Sometimes it can be hard for INFJs to socialize – so a silent Group Poop in a public restroom, unintentionally coordinated with the other women around you, can provide a pleasant middle ground for your socially fragile soul. You’re probably an INFJ girl if you’ve ever pooped, in silence, around other strangers who are also pooping. You don’t waste time with chitchat – but you also like to be around potential new friends. Just everyone stinking it up together, you know? Typical INFJ!
So stop feeling weird, INFJs. How you poop is part of who you are, so flush that fear of judgment right down the toilet! Along with your poop! Ugh, you’re so unique.
