So you wore that super hot outfit you purchased in a moment of extreme confidence. You strutted out the driveway like a model on a catwalk but now that you’ve gotten a few stares from strangers, you now want to disappear into a wall. Here’s what to bring in case you no longer want to be perceived:
An Ariana Grande hoodie
Your dress is hot and accentuates your body in all the best ways. But you no longer want a body. You want to be a hapless shape. This hoodie Ariana Grande would wear as an outfit is perfect to go on top of yours. Put it on and go from hottie to 11-year-old boy at a skate park.
A Down Coat Made for Canadian Winters
Your legs may look stunning at the club, but if you want to suddenly disappear into the night like a ghostly specter, this puffy coat meant will do just the trick. We obviously recommend it in black so you can seamlessly blend into the night sky.
Lampshade
Your contour is on point and your eyeliner is sharper than cheddar cheese. However, you are kind of over making eye contact with other humans for the night. So what to do? Just find a secluded spot at the corner of whatever house party you’re at and put a large lampshade over your face. No one will bother you and dogs will respect you.
Large Plastic Car cover
Sure your skirt is cute as hell but if you are done being hot for the night and just want to lay on the floor spread-eagled, blanket yourself with this car cover designed for a Honda Civic. Now you’re just a lump that strangers walk around, assuming you’re in long-term storage. Isn’t that nice?
Tarp
You are pulling OFF that bodycon dress! And you were feeling yourself six shots ago but now you just want to eat fast food and take a nap. Easy! Set up a tarp outside the bar you’re at, climb under like it like it’s a blanket fort, and shovel nachos into your face without the judgment of strangers. People will just be like, “That’s a weird place for a tarp.” Success!
So if you have exhausted your desire to be perceived in public and want to disappear into the background, try any of these cover-ups, and you’ll be as invisible as a middle-aged woman in no time!
