Misplaced commas. Incorrect prepositions. Mixed up homonyms. How annoying! Every so-called “grammar nazi” understands what it feels like to live in a world full of people who don’t care about grammar. Here are some of the most common mistakes will infuriate all grammar nerds who have a driving need to feel superior for something, anything at all!
When An Uncultured Dunce Says “Less” Instead Of Fewer
When someone can’t seem to understand that “fewer” refers to a countable entity, it’s like, what have you been doing all your life?? Not reading books, that’s for sure! This common mistake will give grammar geeks a conniption and the opportunity to act condescendingly to someone for a very minor infraction.
When Some Dimwit Mixes Up “Effect” And “Affect”
Why is it so hard for the uneducated to figure out the difference between these two words? “Affect” is a verb except when it’s not and “effect” is almost always a noun. Easy! While frustrating, this common switch provides the opportunity for true bookworms to look down upon the philistine masses from their thrones of Karl Ove Knausgård books.
When Someone Misuses Semicolons and Colons, Like An Idiot
These poor and often abused punctuation marks are the bane of any intellectual existence. Semicolons only ever break up independent clauses, while colons are used for a lot other things! When the two are mixed up, punctuation freaks find it hard to keep quiet and very easy to feel more intelligent.
When Plebeians Use “They” For One Person
If there’s one hill that word lovers are willing to die on, it’s certainly this one. Is the person using “they” to refer to a singular person whose gender is unknown because the grammatically correct “his or her” implies a gender binary! Probably not! Just assume they’re intellectually inferior.
When An Undereducated Cretin Uses The Wrong “Its”
There is never an excuse for mixing up the contraction “it’s” with the possessive “its,” whether it’s in an email, Facebook post, or emergency text. Those who will die for the English language can’t help themselves from correcting these errors and getting off on the disdain they feel for their fellow man!
Hopefully, reading about these all too common errors won’t you explode with rage and smugness. It’s tough out there for grammar nerds, but even harder for people who are just trying to communicate as best they can.