5 Men to Fuck Before You Lose Your Birth Control in January

Every morning you get your chai latte, you’re carried away by fantasies of getting double teamed by your baristas, Brad and Chad. They’re the spindly bespectacled type who seem like chill book readers but are definitely fuck-freaks beneath it all. You’ve got limited time, so get on this so you can finally fulfill your dream of fucking Brad and Chad. Seriously, go to the coffee shop and ask for their numbers now before January rolls around and your coffee beans have no protection against their steamed milk.