Everyone knows that if you’re looking to get healthy, you’ve got to change your eating habits. Unless, of course, your favorite pizza chain sends you an incredible deal that you would be psycho to pass up. If you’re looking to make a positive change to your lifestyle, here are five diets to look up then promptly forget about when Domino’s gives you a coupon code.
Weight Watchers
This diet is extremely popular because it’s designed to teach you to make healthier, non-restrictive choices. In this program, every food is given a number of points, and the client can ‘spend’ their points on whatever foods they want. It’s a relatively painless diet, except when Domino’s emails you a promo code for any large specialty pizza for $12.99! No way are you gonna have just one slice at that price. Say goodbye to the diet and hello to the ‘za!
Jenny Craig
Touted by Kirstie Alley as life-changing, The Jenny Craig program sells pre-packaged food to teach users about portion control and healthy choices. The system encourages exercise while on the program, so why not go for a nice long run – to your local Domino’s because you just cashed in that coupon for a $19.99 Perfect Combo. That’s a lotta cheap food!
Vegan
Going vegan can help shed pounds as well as promote your heart health. By eliminating all animal products, you’ll depend on greens, fruits and grains to give you energy throughout your day. That is until you see a tweet from Domino’s offering 2 Large 1-Topping Pizzas, 14 pieces of Chicken and 2 Liters of Coca Cola for $29.99. All that food for the same price as a hummus plate. Fuck vegans!
South Beach
This diet focuses on replacing bad carbs and fats with good carbs and fats. There are three phases to the diet that go from restrictive to less restrictive as you add good carbs back in. But fuck good carbs because you got a Domino’s coupon in the mail today for 1 X-Large 1 Topping Brooklyn Style Pizza for only $11.99. It may be all the worst carbs and fats in one huge helping, but the taste per dollar ratio is incredible!
Whole30
Whole30? Fuck Whole30! You just got a Domino’s Buy 1, Get 1 Free Pizza Deal! BOGO, BOGO!
Here are five diets to research then promptly abandon when Domino’s sends any sort of promotion your way. And if you’ve ever received a Domino’s coupon and not used it, you can go die! You deserve it!!
