Use a sponge to layer several dastardly colors on your nail at once.
When the coast is clear, paint stripes of color onto a piece of tin foil and gently dab with a sponge. Just think of how jealous those wenches in payroll will be when they see the sleek, ombré pattern that you surely paid upwards of $40 dollars for. If pressed for details, recommend a nearby salon and tell a funny anecdote about your nail technician.