5 Breast Cancer Symptoms You Need to Know About So You Can Stress Over Them for No Reason

Early diagnosis is an important part in the treatment and prevention of cancer. For example, it’s important you check your breasts for breast cancer once a month. Or, like, constantly, you know, just in case.


Here are the breast cancer symptoms that you should be aware of so you can convince yourself that you have cancer at least once a week.


A Sudden Change in Shape

Did you know that you could still have breast cancer even if you don’t feel a lump? Think about that literally every single time your breasts feel slightly different than normal. If your breasts are swollen, you might want to start worrying about cancer. The swelling could also be a symptom of PMS, but then again, you never really know, right?


Itchiness or Rash Around Breast Area

There are many reasons why the skin around your breasts could become irritated. It could be a regular rash-rash. Or an allergic reaction to a new detergent or lotion you’re using. Or chest acne. Or a bug bite, because there’s honestly only one red dot on your chest that you’re freaking out about. Or it could be cancer. It’s most likely cancer. Time to Google your symptoms until you’re literally weeping!



Just because you currently aren’t displaying this symptom doesn’t mean it can’t and won’t show up in the future. To be safe, scrutinize your nipples more closely than you need to every single day of your life until you die (most likely of breast cancer). Do your boobs looks different than usual? No? Are they different now? Still no? How about now? No? Now?



Constant Pain in the Breast or Armpit

You could be experiencing breast pain for a whole slew of reasons. The common cause for breast pain is ovulation, which frequently causes breasts to become tender and sore. Or you could be allergic to your deodorant. Google that, too. Then you’re going to come across a whole bunch of articles linking deodorant use to breast cancer. Have fun reading those!



Be careful. Fatigue is also a symptom of liver cancer, ovarian cancer, Crohn’s disease, Epstein-Barr virus, typhus, typhoid, polio and AIDS, all of which you probably have too. Fuck. You’re def going to die.


If you notice any of these symptoms, you shouldn’t ignore them. But also don’t go to the doctor! That’s too sensible. You should spend a good chuck of every day silently freaking out about them instead.