Halloween is fast approaching, and if there’s one person who knows it’s never too early to start thinking of costume ideas, it’s your friend Maggie! She’s been bombarding the group chat all week with ideas ranging from the classic “Britney Spears Through the Ages,” to the pretty offensive “Hurricane Harvey dogs.” Here is a collection of Maggie’s topical, punny, and classic Halloween costume ideas that will all merit little more than a polite “haha, that’d be cute” from you in the hopes that she kind of forgets it and moves on to something else.
Risky Business
Maggie sold this costume idea, based on the classic dance scene from the Tom Cruise film of the same name, as “cheap and easy, but still hot enough in case we don’t come up with anything better.” It’s really not the most original idea, and she’s clearly still just brainstorming, so don’t feel like you need to respond with anything more than a polite thumbs up.
Sex and the City
All you need to pull off this classic ensemble costume is a pile of thrifted designer threads, some bold early-oughts lipstick, and a little NYC attitude. When Maggie insists it’d be the perfect costume for your squad because “one of us is actually a redhead,” don’t hesitate to unleash your inner Miranda and simply reply “could be cute lol.”
Beanie Babies
This costume is adorable and easy to pull together, and Maggie knows it! Everyone can just dress up as their favorite animal and then add a big red tag to create cohesion among the group. It’s fun enough, but too corny to win the gang any costume contests, so you can definitely get away with a simple “haha aw that’d be cute” in response and pray that she gets distracted by a text or something.
Sexy Handmaids from The Handmaid’s Tale
Inspired by the Emmy-winning dystopian drama series The Handmaid’s Tale, Maggie thinks you could make a feminist statement about the real-life threats to women’s rights by dressing like the show’s defiant main character Offred. But her insistence on making the costume “sexy” by wearing red cardigans and spandex shorts is obviously too embarrassingly tone-deaf to encourage. Her heart is clearly in the right place though, so just throw her a “omg so good!!” and carry on with your day. Hopefully someone else can talk to Maggie about this one.
Halloween is a day to get creative and express yourself, but frankly all you need to express to Maggie right now is the most basic level of enthusiasm. Just let her tire herself out!
