What in the world is chiller than a girl in a beanie? The answer: a girl in a beanie who refuses to remove her Jansport inside a crowded bar! Take your beanie game to the next level by becoming that girl in the beanie and the backpack weaving her way through a tight crowd! Here are the four most adorable beanies that make all the boys say, “What the fuck, that girl keeps hitting me with her bag!”
A Bright Yellow Beanie
Want to make a splash at that hot, sweaty dive bar? Dazzle those slurring strangers with this fun and vibrant beanie. It pairs perfectly with that L.L.Bean backpack that’s been sitting in your parents’ attic for years. Who cares that your bag’s only got your wallet and an eighth of weed in it? Whip that flimsy bag all over the bar like you just don’t care—because you don’t! With this delightful skullcap, you’re quirky enough to smack whomever you want, right in the boob. You’re 30 now! Get it, girl!
A Zany Striped Beanie
Want to be as delightful as Natalie Portman’s character in Garden State? Well, she was slightly epileptic, but this beanie will get you one step closer without any neurological disease at all! This zany cap is perfect for hot dance floors, full of drunk twentysomethings trying to forget who they are being shoved to the side by the girth of your backpack bedecked figure. Who cares if your hair becomes a sticky, matted mess? You’ve got a quirky girl vibe to maintain! The striped beanie is perfect to wear until July 4th, when you can smoothly transition into your “just pallin’ around with my bookbag” backwards baseball cap. Slay!
A Cute-Ass Pom-Pom Beanie
Make them wonder what’s in your Hershel bag with this little number: The pom-pom gives the piece a certain je ne sais quoi. For the non-Francophile readers, this translates to, “Why doesn’t she just put her bag down under a table or something? I bet she’s a weed dealer.” Trust us: They won’t be able to take their eyes off of you. Be the mystery girl terrorizing some friend of a friend’s happy hour you wish to see in the world!
A New York Jets Beanie
Talk about being one of the guys! Wearing a Jets beanie highlights how delightfully chill you really are. It says, “I like sports, and I don’t care who knows it!” You won’t believe how badly you’ll want to strap your belongings to your body in this beanie! Schlep a bunch of Bud Lights into that nasty sports bar for a trashy good time. With New York Jets apparel clamping around your noggin, you can inconvenience those dumb suckers in the bar as much as you please. Plus, boys love a cute little gender-bender who’s still comfortably feminine. Wacky yet adorable feminist hero, coming through!
Whether it’s crashing your ex-best friend’s engagement party, showing up to a birthday party two hours late, or going to the wrong bar for your own band’s show, these beanies scream, “I’ve got a bag on my back, and it’s gonna stay there!” Stay cute, ya lil’ jerk!
