You love your guy, but sometimes it’s hard to be the perfect girl he deserves because of all the stresses of being awake. Work’s been crazy, and there’s a lot of other stuff going on, and sometimes you’re fatigued for no reason. Luckily, you can still “do it all” if you choose from these fun and sexy ways to say, “Jason, I’m tired.” Keep your guy’s needs in mind even when you’re passing out from exhaustion with these sleepy-hot tips:
1. The Lana Del Rey
Whenever you’re tired, wear an ethereal, long vintage silk sleeping gowns like the one Lana Del Rey wears in that chateau-castle thingy in the “Born To Die” video… Then start singing, “I was born to sleep” in your sexiest breathiest singing voice. It will be easy, since you’re so tired you’re already slurring your words and murmuring!
2. The Loaded Compliment
It’s always sexy when you compliment your boy, because everyone likes to feel appreciated, so make sure to reference how great he is before you hit the hay! Say something like, “You’re such an amazing boyfriend. I love how you are so understanding of my irregular sleep schedule, my increasingly time-consuming work schedule, the new stress-induced crying spurts!” You won’t even be awake long enough to finish this sentence.
3. The Swedish Maneuver
If your guy is already trying to make a move, think fast. Get him to start massaging your shoulders, and use that as an opportunity to tell him “Aw, that’s so relaxing… Uh-oh, I’m falling asleep now.”
4. The Sleepy Sexy Blame Game
When in doubt, blame it on him! Say something like, “Only a boyfriend like you could make me THIS tired!” Sure, you haven’t had sex in two weeks, but every guy likes to know he can still wear a girl out!
5. The Unconscious Sex Kitten
Make your sleepy gestures sexier! Learn to high-pitched yawn, sway and curl up in a ball when you’re tired like a little kitten baby, so he’ll get a titillating show whenever you’re tired! Then, who cares, just embrace sleep!
6. “Road Ends Here”
Leave him hanging! Lie on the couch, smile sleepily, squint your eyes like Tyra Banks staring into a fan, and go “Awwww, my man is so, so… Zzzzzzzzzz.” Fall asleep instantly, and preferably start snoring to make it clear you’re not to be disturbed. Just practice shutting off your brain on command, and you’ll be ready to trail off in no time.
7. Horny or Sleepy?
Have fun with ambiguity! Order a mulled wine and a huge plate of butternut squash ravioli, then after dinner, tell him, “I’m feeling tipsy; you know what that means. WINK!” He’ll find out later you meant you were drowsy. At least you warned him.
8. The Jean Harlow
Wear a sexy tight dress to your night out. After it’s over, say, “I’m going to slip into something more comfortable…” You can clarify later, if necessary, that you meant a bed with a thick comforter and heated blanket. The only boner he’ll be getting is the one in the morning after a good night’s sleep.
9. The Sensible Palm Reader
If he’s wearing a watch, flirtatiously tell him you’re going to read his palm… Then casually look at his watch and say, “Oh wow, I didn’t realize how late it was! I’m really tired, babe, I think our future is sleep tonight.”
10. The Sexy “Oh God, She’s Just Like Mom”
After a nice date, whisper, “Wait a sec, I’m just going to put on some music and change…” Put on a white noise machine and come back wearing sweats, thick wool socks, a fleece Snuggie, reading glasses and a facemask. Tell him groggily that you’re “really, really tired,” but offer to stay up if he wants, because you’re the cool, sexy girlfriend. Looking at your green face, he’ll definitely tell you to sleep.
If you do all this, you’ll be able to sleep and deal with your utter exhaustion without letting your sexy guard down! So go on, take a nap. You’ll need that energy for tomorrow’s nervous breakdown.
