It happened: Kate Middleton got bangs, and now you’re thinking you might want bangs, too. But are they for you? Don’t kid yourself. Instead of living out your fringe dreams in public only to regret your decision five days later, live them out in the privacy of your own home each evening, as long as no one else is around. Here are 10 pairs of fake bangs you can wear around your apartment any night of the week!
Hairdo Clip-In Bangs by Jessica Simpson and Ken Paves in R6 (Amazon, $12.77)
Put these babies on when you’ve had a long day. Lock the doors, close the curtains, tell your roommates not to worry, blast some Evanescence, and Work. Through. Your. Shit, bangs a-flapping. You’ll come out of that room a stronger version of yourself. Just don’t let those bangs see the light of day!
Nice E-Shop Sweet Girl Natural Straight Bangs in Dark Brown (Amazon, $2.99)
Ahh, yes, the classic ‘90s toilet paper bangs. These are the bangs you probably had in your youth, the ones you have to develop selective amnesia about whenever you consider getting bangs now. Wear these around your apartment to remind yourself of the fleeting nature of time. We all have those days, right? Let these clip-on bangs take you back; just don’t let yourself near the scissors.
Leegoal Girl’s Clip-On Fringe Extension in Dark Brown (Amazon, $2.43)
Oooh, these bangs have layers! They ‘ll completely cover your eyes in a come-hither way that’ll have everyone saying, “Is that someone with a layered bob walking away from me?” Wear them around your apartment and imagine yourself as a sassy CEO on her way to a super important business meeting. Should you go back to school and get an MBA? Maybe. Should you get bangs? NO.
Leegoal Girl’s Clip-On Fringe Extension in Dark Brown (Amazon, $2.43)
These are the same bangs as the last photo from a different angle, but don’t they look like they’re wearing a tiny hat!? Awwww. Wear these on your futon or in your bathtub, but NOT in front of your mailbox! These are house bangs.
Hairdo Clip-In Bangs by Jessica Simpson and Ken Paves in R830 (Amazon, $16.65)
These clip-on bangs are totally worth it for all the sitting around in your apartment you’ll be doing in them. Look at how those two tendrils meet in the middle like a heart. Or a butt. See? So cute. So sexy. Your houseplants will love these bangs! Your neighbors will NOT.
X&Y Angel Girl’s One Piece Front Fringe Bangs in #4/6 (Amazon, $7.80)
Ready to get your indoor freak on? These bangs scream one word: unpredictable! Wear these around your apartment when you want to contemplate how thin the line is between sanity and insanity. Text that bad French boy, Matis, and tell him to come over. Just make sure you take off the bangs before he gets there. You look terrible in bangs!
Yesurprise Girls Black Blonde Full Bangs Fringe Clip-In (Amazon, $6.69)
After a long, hard day at work, sometimes you just want to come home and pretend like you’re a part-time beautician in Patterson, New Jersey. Practice your hair salon banter with your cat. “Going on any trips this summer?” “How are the kids?” “You’re better off without him sweetheart. Trust me.” Pour yourself a tall glass of red wine and treat yourself to two rows of Oreos. Maybe even slip a few to the cat. It’s what the bangs would want!!!
Beauty Wig World Straight Clip on Front Bang In Side Fringe Hair Piece Extension (Amazon, $9)
These blonde, side-swept beauties will make you feel like a popular girl at a Californian seaside high school who probably know how to surf. They’re great for checking your flip phone every couple minutes and wondering when he’s going to text you back. They’re not great for having in real life. DO NOT GET BANGS, SERIOUSLY.
Neitsi Synthetic Clip-In Bangs in #27 (Amazon, $6.80)
For when you want to feel like Felicity the American Girl Doll’s cool older sister, take these faux fringes for an indoor spin! These bangs will make you feel plucky and driven, but hopefully not so driven that you leave you apartment, because Christ do these look terrible.
Lion Brand Yarn 860-158l Vanna’s Choice in Mustard (Amazon, $4)
When you’re in the mood for a little DIY action, make your own bangs! Yarn is a great material for bangs because it blows in the wind nicely. Which you always think would be a cool thing about bangs, but trust us, it’s not. If you want a more rigid look, use pipe cleaners. But, once again, DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HOME.
Maysu Fashion False Clip-In Bangs in Black (Amazon, $6.50)
If you really still think you want bangs let yourself off the leash a little! Venture out into the real world to see what it would be like to be a modern woman with a solid wedge of hair covering your forehead. Notice how people treat you differently. Don’t be surprised if you hear someone say, “Wow, your face looks so small!” See? Bangs are not for you. But that doesn’t mean you can’t experiment with them in the privacy of your own, empty apartment. Cheers!
With all of these bangs, you can explore the many different sides of your personality. You’re a complex woman with complex needs, but only in secret. Bangs are not a good look for you!
