Author Archives for Rachel Van Nes

How to Signal It’s Time for Sex by Blowing the Ricola Horn

Brave! This Woman Threw Away a Birthday Card

Wow! This Tortoise Turned 150 and Smokes a Pack a Day

5 Habits To Get Your Creative Juices Flowing Until You Cum A Novel

Woman Craving Chili Cheese Dog Never Been More Fertile

Malpractice? This Nurse Included Shoes and Clothes in Your Body Weight

Finally! This Couples Therapist Agrees That Your Partner Is The Problem

MAN NEEDS MORE PROTEIN

How To Get More Sleep By Donating To Elizabeth Warren’s Campaign

5 Zaddys We’d Like To Fuck But Won’t Because We’d Never Want Them To Question Their Strong Family Values

Man Looks Beautiful When He Cries

Job Search Officially Called Off After Request For Cover Letter

Sweet Little Oozy Vagina Just Gonna Keep On Doin’ Its Thing

Futuristic Sunglasses That Say, “0010001001011100”

How To Stay Thin By Never Getting All The Food Into The Mouth

Report: Olives Are Cancelled

4 Tasteful Shawls That Say, ‘But You Couldn’t Have Seen My Husband. He Died Years Ago…’

How To Enjoy BJs More By Eating Dick With All The Fixin’s