Author Archives for Emily Zauzmer

Single Woman Stocking Up for Valentine’s Day Like It’s an Impending Snowstorm

The One That Got Away? This Noodle Fell Into the Sink

Woman Hunting for Best Bra in Underwear Drawer Like Dog Digging Hole at Beach

Woman Decorating Apartment With Little Things That Remind Her of HomeGoods

Kristi Noem Promises DHS Investigation Will Leave No Lie Unsaid

Jog Up Staircase Called Off by Third Step

Grand Plan to Eat Healthier Lasts One Cucumber

‘Time Flies!’ Says Woman Who’s Never Tried to Grow Out Bangs

Woman’s Dream to Be Peripheral Member of Toxic Celebrity Mom Group

Laxative No Match for Everything Else in There

NHL Launches ‘Heated Rivalry’ Spin-Off, ‘Hockey’

Butterflies in Stomach Actually Expired Ham

Burnt-Out Santa Hopes All of Western Hemisphere Likes Play-Doh

Woman Nails Day One of One-Day Exercise Challenge

Nation’s Horny Meteorologists Report It’s Lovely Weather for a Sleigh Ride Together With You

‘It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!’ Says Woman Totally Forgetting About Times It’s Warm

Push-Up More Push Than Up

Centuries of Human Innovation Culminate in Woman Checking Email on Airplane Toilet

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