Print Edition ARCHIVES

White Friend Really Wants You to Notice Black and Brown Nutcrackers on Her Mantle

Nostalgic! This Christmas Movie Presumes Two Women in Their 30’s Could Afford Their Own Homes to Swap

Uh Oh! Elf on a Shelf Found Sex Toy Drawer

God Denies Claim to Enter Heaven

Aw! Both Dog and Boyfriend Afraid of Vacuum

Boss Only in Office on Days You’re Running Two Hours Late and Hungover

White Christmas! This Woman’s Dandruff Is Everywhere

Woman Stressed Out by Job Looking Forward to Being Stressed Out by Family

Joe Biden Promises Nation to Give Hunter Good Spanking When He Gets Home

Woman Wastes Years of Life Being Insecure About Wrong Thing

Advent Calendar Corners Market for Pill Box Filled With Chocolate

Woman Only Outgoing Around Shy Losers

What the Fuck? Dishes That Woman Didn’t Do Still Aren’t Done

‘I Have Decision Fatigue,’ Says Woman Whose Only Decision in Last 7 Years Has Been Not Going to Law School

Smart! This Woman Isn’t Having Kids Because They Would Fuck Up Her Spotify Wrapped

How to Celebrate Chrismukkah by Lighting Your Christmas Tree on Fire

Woman Decries Consumerism but Only When It’s Time to Buy Gifts for Others

Spa Day? Woman Opens Dishwasher Mid-Cycle

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