Print Edition ARCHIVES

I Didn’t Love Myself Until Brands Started Calling Me ‘Babe’ in Promotional Emails

Nice! This Woman Bought Something With Cash So It Was Free

How to Come Even Though Kamala Told You Not To

Woman Too Deep Into Recounting Personal Anecdote to Turn Back Now

Woman Putting Off Big Daunting Task Completes Three Smaller Daunting Tasks

Nation’s Men With Big Snakes Make Triumphant Return to Local Parks

‘Next Month Will Be Really Busy,’ Says Woman Who Has Three Things Scheduled That Month

Bezos Hoping Alien Civilization Not Advanced Enough to Employ Socialism

Make Your Skincare Products Last Longer by Forgetting to Use Them

This Guy Hyphenated His Last Name With His Wife But Still Says His Half Louder

Nice! $70 Swimsuit Price Actually Only for Bottom

White Boy Summer? This Man’s Sunburn Requires Skin Grafts

‘It’s 8 p.m. Somewhere!’ Exclaims Woman Taking a Melatonin Right After Work

How to Not Learn About Nice Furniture So You Don’t Feel Compelled to Buy It

Tragic! This Woman’s Doppelgänger Is a Little Bit Hotter

How to Accept Your Post-Pandemic Body by Going Outside and Announcing, ‘Come and Get It, Boys’

Just One of the Guys: This Woman Is a Piece of Shit

My Math Teacher Told Me I’d Never Be a NASA Engineer. And He Was Right.

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