Print Edition ARCHIVES

Toxic? Job the Kind Where They Make You Have an Email Address

Woman Gleefully Letting Every Life Problem Become January Thing

Owner Who Doesn’t Let Dog Sit on Couch Missing the Point of Dog

Wow! New Christmas Pop Song Somehow Finds Novel Way to Allude to Fucking Santa

Woman Getting Disturbing Number of Compliments After Washing Hair

‘Why Is There So Much Evil in the World,’ Says Person After One Car Honked at Them

Koi Fish Feel Like They Always Have to Be ‘On’

Therapist Anxious You Only Like Her for Her Mental Health Expertise

Wow! Man Refusing to Replace Toothbrush Until It’s Balder Than Him

Woman Who Used to Write Paragraphs on a Flip Phone Would Rather Die Than Type One Word With a Remote

Employee of the Month? This Woman Cleaned Her Entire Apartment Without Going Inactive on Slack

Stalker? This Woman Remembered a Fact Someone Told Her About Themselves

Drunk as a Skunk? This Skunk Actually Passed the Breathalyzer Test and Is Good to Drive

Man Engages in Beautiful Italian-American Tradition of Taking Matters Into His Own Hands

‘I’m Not Susceptible to Advertising,’ Says Woman Who Sure Seems to Spend a Lot of Money on Bullshit

How to Get Revenge on the Company That Laid You Off by Getting Abs

Dad Somehow Still Emotionally Affected by Civil War

Woman’s Description of Her Ideal Man Clearly Just Bob From Bob’s Burgers

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