Print Edition ARCHIVES

Progressive! Man Boycotting Super Bowl Until His Shitty Team Is in It

Woman Waves for Driver to Go Ahead and Strike Her Where She Stands

Woman Glad Costco Didn’t Get Rid of Its DEI Initiatives So She Doesn’t Have to Start Shopping Local

How to Send a Follow-Up Text Without Sounding Like It’s All You’ve Been Thinking About

REPORT: Trying to Do a Cartwheel Could Kill You Now

Uh Oh! I Said I Didn’t Care About the Super Bowl and Now I’m on a Government List

Woman Picking Pasta Out of Soup Like Whale Filtering Krill From Sea

Relatable! US Picks Completely Unnecessary Fight With Closest Friends

Woman Blackmails Self Into Leaving Apartment By Wearing Most Expensive Sunscreen She Owns

Uh Oh! Woman Fishing for Compliments Accidentally Catches Constructive Criticism

The Grammys Apologizes for Omitting Drake From This Year’s in Memoriam

Trump Orders Investigation Into Why Crashed Plane’s Recording Box Was Black

Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas to Completely Disregard if You Made Your Pussy Bald for Him

Plant Dad? This Guy Has Something Growing Under His Fingernails

Dog Can’t Believe How Accurate Owner’s Impression of His Voice Is

Wow! Woman Even Has a Stuffy Nose in Her Dreams Now

Woman Stays on Top of Emails by Replying Immediately in Her Head

I LIVED IT: The Drink I Get Every Day Wasn’t as Good Today

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