Wow! Your High School Friend Went to Alaska or Some Shit

In the sea of social media it’s easier than ever to keep in touch with old friends, and according to a recent scan of Facebook, it looks like your high school friend went to Alaska or some shit. Wow, good for her!


This past weekend, Elisa Hammer, who you literally haven’t spoken to in nine years, posted a photo with sparkling blue waters and snow-capped mountains with the caption “Brr baby brr.” Though the photo didn’t have a location tab, you’re pretty sure it’s in Alaska, maybe? Sure!


Your friend Gina, who saw Elisa a couple years ago at the neighborhood Safeway but didn’t say hi, also noticed the picture.


“I guess Elisa took a trip to Alaska or something. I have no idea what she’s up to otherwise,’ Gina says. “But that’s cool or whatever. Time for me to get back to the rest of my life”


When you think about Elisa, you mostly just remember that one time she tucked her shirt into her underwear in gym class, and how at the end of high school you genuinely believed that you were going to stay friends forever.



Now she’s a practical stranger, but it looks like she went to Alaska or honestly maybe any fucking lake, and so that means she’s doing fine, right?


Pretty crazy that she even showed up on your algorithm and that now you’re devoting at least three more minutes to thinking about her!


Maybe it’s Iceland? No way to know for sure.


At press time, you were considering texting a screenshot to your mostly dormant text thread with your high school friends, but ultimately decided not to.


If you remember, you’ll check back to see if she posts another picture with more details or if you can devise from her Instagram whether or not she’s married yet.