A shaken 22-year-old Orlando resident Lauren Miller assured her friends that her crush, Zack, is “much more attractive in person” this past Friday.
The announcement came after Lauren scrolled through Zack’s Instagram feed, showing different photos before deciding the photos didn’t captivate how cute he really is.
“I asked her what his last name was so I could look him up on Facebook,” says Lauren’s friend Jen. “But she just kept saying that his Facebook ‘doesn’t show what he looks like.’ How is that even possible?”
Witnesses say that Lauren was relentless in her attempt to prove that Zack is worthy of her desire, in spite of refusing to share his last name.
“I didn’t want to be rude,” friend Gina says, “But I don’t really care. It doesn’t really matter what he looks like.”
As Lauren went through Zack’s profile pictures, she was surprised to find multiple photos in which his face looked kind of saggy, and a photo from 2008 in which he was wearing an Ed Hardy shirt.
After failing to find an acceptable photo of Zack, Lauren made sure to put her finger over his caption that read, “The best way to predict the future is to create it #Inspire #Educate #Adventure.”
When asked to comment, Lauren was quick to defend her behavior.
“He’s just bad at taking selfies,” Lauren says, “And also bad at photographs that are taken by other people.
Witnesses say that Jen and Gina examined the photo and after much consideration replied, “Yeah.”
