Local Woman Her Best Self On Gchat

Citing her newfound social grace, Kristin Silvers told reporters Friday that she is truly her best self on Gchat.

“I’m on from the time I get to work ‘til the time I leave for the night,” Silvers said, a consistent, daily habit she hopes someday translates to a consistent gym routine or healthier eating regimen. “This is how I maintain my closest relationships.”


Friends of Silvers agreed she was a better friend behind her unwaveringly green availability icon.


“Kristin’s always there for me with a quick reply or a relevant meme when I need help translating conversations with my boyfriend Danny,” says roommate Emily Fasula. “It almost makes up for the fact she forgot my birthday.”


Described as “kind of awkward” in person, friends of Silver’s also noted that her timely status updates and witty messages reflect a certain social poise incongruent with her typical face-to-face interactions.


Silver’s cubicle mate James Emerson added he had no idea his peer had a sense of humor whatsoever until a timely Buzzfeed article crept up in his inbox.


“I’m not sure how she knew I needed a chuckle, but she sent me that link, and really nailed it with her poignant, witty banter on the subject.” Emerson noted. “But when I saw her in the office kitchen, she couldn’t even make eye contact.”


Coworkers once observed Silvers copy-and-pasting “yo yo yo” into seven open chat windows as they entered a work meeting she failed to add to her corporate calendar.


“Kristin and I have spent hours chatting about our lives on Gchat,” says acquaintance Kayla Jenkins. “But the last time I saw her on the street, she didn’t even recognize me.”


“The most popular friends go at the top,” Silvers stated, as she silenced all notifications from her work email.