In a devastating story of financial consequences emerging from Brooklyn, NY, 24-year-old Leah Gregario was unfortunately bankrupted by a haircut this morning.
Sources confirm Leah has filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy after getting a haircut at a new place and not thinking to check their prices beforehand.
“It’s an unfortunate scenario, seeing as I will have to liquidate all of my assets in order to dispose of the inordinate amount of credit card debt I have taken on,” Leah told reporters gathered at the scene, where she was calling her dad to figure out the nitty gritty of filing with her local bankruptcy court. “I should have known better than to get a haircut. That type of big purchase just wasn’t in the cards for me this year.”
Leah took the time to clarify that she believes hairdressers have every right to charge a fair price for their labor; she just doesn’t have the right or the means to pay it.
“When it gets down to it, I was simply living above my means by getting bangs,” Leah continued while blowing said bangs out of her eyes. “I mean, bangs and a trim? And a blowout? Who am I – the Queen of England?”
This whole saga started when Leah’s friends convinced her she would look awesome with a chin-length layered bob and some baby bangs, the type of cut that could only be trusted to a qualified professional.
“That’s the sort of thing you don’t take on yourself, you know?” she continued. “I should have known it would cost me my future, though. That’s on me.”
According to sources at the scene, when the hairdresser brought out the chip-reader in order for Leah to pay for the cut, the color instantly drained from her face.
“When she saw how much it cost, she kept her smile going, but it was really obvious she had started crying,” said fellow hairdresser Ophelia Seine. “The combination only made it scarier – the semi-crying, semi-smiling look. I asked her if she was okay, and all she could say was, ‘I love it!’”
Within 15 minutes of leaving the store, Leah had already googled “Which type of bankruptcy to file for when you need to file fast,” and “How to file for bankruptcy without your mom finding out.”
As of press time, Leah and her amazing blowout are serving absolute cunt in bankruptcy court.
